Does anybody know of a CMS product that focuses on cults?

We'd need a strong member/entitlement management component.

Obviously people who donate their life savings to the cult will be given access to training modules on our deepest secrets.

Why do they call it DevOp when you dev in the cold food op out hot eat the food?

played some gloomhaven this weekend

it's hard!

owls boosted

okay time to hit several thousand people with a hammer!

the sky pirates were slaughtered and now we can go visit the sphinx!

I kept offering them opium but they really wanted to fight to the death.

I guess the lady who sent them is very scary??

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the sky pirates want the oracle of war and do NOT want any opium

very sad. we would be happy to sell them some opium.

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for some reason a bunch of goddamn aetherblades just turned up?

BTW we're at 22 opium overdoses

the remaining brick of opium is up the paperboy's ass.

ROLL FOR INITIATIVE.

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we threatened to title IX paddington and he got his ass in gear

PROBLEM SOLVED!

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Paddington didn't buy my bullshit about being allowed to see the Sphinx and wants to summon the guards.

I'm pretty sure he's about to get murdered.

Ranger: Many students are in danger! Do you know Smokey the Bear?

Paddington: ... no?

Ranger: We need a Smokey the Bear for drugs!

Paddington: y doe

Ranger: Many students are outside doing drugs! We must stop them!

Paddington: THE STUDENTS ARE DOING WHAT!?

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we want 69 people to OD but i don't know if we have enough opium for that?

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We used one brick of opium for 20 scholars.

DM: there's...gunna be a lot of dead people back there.

DM: so what do you do now

Me: let's go give the sphinx a brick of opium!

DM: i mean. i guess that's where i wanted you to go. probably not with any opium. certainly not with an entire brick of it.

DM: but i guess that puts us back on track

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oh good we're giving them "soup" now

(it's heated opium on a spoon)

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The opium is referred to as "party powder".

Guard Steve suggested we put the powder on the chips and call them Partidos Cool Ranch.

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Paladin is now explaining to the scholars how to make lines of opium to snort through their scrolls.

I have no idea why we're doing this but we're all running with it

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okay we're doing a campus party

and we're handing out the opium to scholars

me: grind into powder. do line with...dollar bill?

DM: no

me: do line with...transmutation scroll!

DM: yes

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In our Eberron, toilets have bidets by way of a wand that shoots a little water when you're done.

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The phrase "Mayonnaise Pinata" was just said and 👌

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